3 Keys To Develop Emotional Intelligence

Developing Emotional Intelligence means increasing the skills to recognize the patterns that our emotions adjust to. In other words, to identify what are the factors that activate our emotions, in what way they do it and where that activation leads us.

The human being follows lines of action, more or less stable, throughout his life. However, the change is also a constant. In particular, our emotions are always in motion. We aren't passive beings in the face of what happens around us and that is why we maintain a great internal dynamic. Developing Emotional Intelligence is also a way to detect those changes.

" Consciousness is the voice of the soul; the passions, the body. " 

-William Shakespeare-

The ultimate goal is to stop being passive spectators of what happens in our inner world. No emotion occurs or dissipates by chance. If we can identify what we feel and anticipate the way in which it can affect us, surely we will start more adaptive behaviors. Next, we give you three keys to develop Emotional Intelligence.

1. Examination of motivations

One of the exercises that most help us develop emotional Intelligence is to make a frequent examination of our motivations. Motivation is called to that force that drives to act in a certain direction. Both psychoanalysis and other contemporary trends have shown us that many times we don't know what our real motivations are.

Sometimes we genuinely follow the deepest desires of our being. Then we act accordingly, and that gives us a certain balance. However, on other occasions, we ignore why we opt for one option and not another. Or we think in one way, but act in another. Or, simply, we feel dissatisfied with what we do, without knowing exactly why.

An examination of the motivations leads precisely to explore those forces that impel us to act. Is it the will or is it the fear? Is it the decision or is it the habit, the frustration, the anger or another emotion? Inquiring through our motivations leads us to develop Emotional Intelligence.

2. Understanding the use of time, a key to developing emotional Intelligence

One of the most revealing elements of our emotional world is the distribution we make of time. This is an abstract category, which offers valuable clues to understand our psychological reality. So by analyzing the way we handle time, we also manage to develop Emotional Intelligence.

In particular, it's important to observe if some elements are present in that time management. These are: procrastination, feeling of lack of time and perception of slowness in the course of it. Each of these states tells us about specific emotional situations.

Procrastination speaks to us of insecurity and lack of commitment; In addition, sometimes it can also signal an unconscious rejection of what is postponed. The feeling of lack of time speaks to us of obsessions and anxiety. The slow passage suggests the presence of melancholy. Therefore, analyzing our perception and management of time is a valuable source of information to know us.

3. Regulate the emotional tone

One of the factors that help us develop emotional Intelligence is to identify the most intense emotions we experience frequently. In our way of being, some emotions prevail over others. For example, there are those who spend their days angry. Others are given to laugh at everything or feel dejected. The emotion that predominates is what gives a particular emotional tone to each one of us.

Many times we "marry" exclusively with one of those emotional dimensions. We build an explosive personality, or passive and fearful, or chronically friendly and we stay there forever. Without realizing it, we forget how to feel differently. We get used to those predominant emotions and we end up making them the axis of our way of being.

To develop Emotional Intelligence, it'is advisable that we learn to regulate emotional tone. That is, to put a certain limit to those predominant emotions, allowing the non-habitual ones to emerge. It's a way to explore other areas of our being and to allow new sensations and emotions to emerge. This, in turn, makes us more aware of what is inside us.

The development of Emotional Intelligence gives us greater lucidity to act. It also gives our actions a more authentic meaning. Without a doubt, It's one of those tasks that result in a fuller life and a healthier personality.