It's not always easy to measure the impact (positive or negative) of the educational methods you apply to your children.
As Sylvie Jenaly (aka Super Nanny) explains in her recent book: "We are not born parents, we become". So you certainly act with the best wishes in the world, but without realizing, you probably have (like everyone else) a lot of daily little things to your kids saying "it's for their good". Here are 5 things that you make a point of applying, but that horrify your children.
1. Make them eat food they don't like
"Come on, finish this mouthful of spinach." Of course, it's important to encourage your child to eat a little bit of everything. But forcing him to finish his plate isn't necessarily the best tactic to achieve your goals. "Forcing a child to put something in his mouth that he rejects is almost an act of violence, especially since associating a food with coercion or even humiliation can create a lasting rejection of the product. in question It is better to awaken the sensoriality by proposing to the child to participate in culinary activities and by verbalizing his feelings," explained Nathalie Politzer, director of the Institute of Taste at the ikids website.
Instead, try to build confidence by communicating with your child as you try to feed them. You can also approach the problem from a playful angle, making it live this experience as a game. But if you see that your child really doesn't like it, it's better not to insist.
2. Treat them as if they were adults when they make mistakes
The error is human, and even the most perfectionist adult commits oddities from time to time. So keep in mind that for your child, in full development, making mistakes is an integral part of his learning. If he made a mistake, explain calmly why he did wrong and why he shouldn't start again. Avoid phrases like "you disappoint me a lot", or "I hope it will serve as a lesson" as if you were talking to your equal. Indulge in it and remember that after all, your child is only a child.
3. Compare them to other children
"You see, Olga had a better grade because she worked more than you." Although comparing oneself to others is an integral part of human nature, this method isn't necessarily beneficial for a child. Remember, your child must feel unique in your eyes. Not only will comparing him not make him work harder to get a better score than Olga, but it may spoil him a lot of inferiority or make him challenge you more.
4. Encourage them to sympathize with children they don't like
Are you dreaming that your child is doing buddy-boyfriend with your best friend's daughter while they can't feel? No matter how old they are, it will only annoy them. Your child needs his free will and you can't force him to spend time with this or that person. Try two seconds to put yourself in its place: how would you react if your spouse made a vacation with one of his friends that you can't see in the photo or if your boss required that you spend more time with colleagues that you only enjoy moderately? Well, do you say that for your child? It's the same thing.
5. Register them for a ton of activities
Encouraging your child to participate in extracurricular activities such as a sport or an artistic hobby is a very good thing: in addition to widening his social circle, this will allow him to live new experiences outside the school setting and perhaps even at home. to give birth to a vocation. On the other hand, avoid having him chained up each week in a single day piano, shutter, theater, and painting workshop. This will quickly exhaust him and make him want to participate in all these activities. Which would be a shame... So, limit yourself to one or two activities per week maximum.
No comments